Will I lose friends as I slim?
You might think that your bestie will always be your friend. After all you’ve survived the occasions when you both wanted to see the same guy and the clothes she ruined when she borrowed them. What you might not have expected is that she would fall out with you because you started to lose weight. A survey of dieters in 2014 commissioned by vouchercloud.com found that 81% of them lost friends as they lost the weight. Not only that, for every stone of weight (over 12kg) they lost two friends on average.
The thing is no-one likes change; we are designed to prefer routine and stability but you’d expect your friends and loved ones to be supportive of your move to be healthier. Experts seem to think that the opposite is true and it goes much deeper than their jealousy of your new slimmer body. Of course, it’s possible that some are just plain jealous and wish they looked like you but it’s more likely that your success reminds them of their own failures. This can be particularly significant if these failures have also been regarding weight loss.
The thing is that it’s often not malicious or ill-intentioned so it’s important to address these issues before they become a serious problem. Losing weight is difficult enough without having people bringing you down when you start to have a little success. It might be difficult to do but if your friend won’t support you, you’re probably better off without them. Before you ditch them, though, is the problem all one-sided?
Have you changed now you’ve lost some weight? Are you more judgemental of what your friends are eating? Do you constantly talk about calories, fat and your latest diet? If you were always the life and soul of the party, always up for a laugh and the first to try the latest craze, it might not just be your body that’s changed.
It’s possible that your weight loss journey might have meant that you don’t have the same amount of time to spend with your friend. You might have turned down invitations to go out for a drink or a meal because you think it might be too tempting. If this is the case, get them to join you in exercise classes, walks, etc. It will help your friend to lose weight and a little healthy competition could spur you both on. Having a good friend to talk to when you’re trying to avoid temptation or feeling discouraged can be a great support (as long as you remember it’s a two-way street).
The important thing is to have the conversation and find out exactly where you both stand. Once you’ve established this you need to decide if this person will bring you down or lift you up. If your friend is someone who hangs around with you so they look better it’s definitely time to get rid.
It’s not just friends; your partner can see your weight loss as a threat to your relationship. All of a sudden you look sexier and more attractive. Does this mean that you are going to start to look for someone else? Even if you’re not looking, you’re more likely to attract attention from others. This is partly to do with you looking different but can also be because you feel more confident too. It’s important that your partner feels loved so reassure them that it’s only your body that has changed; your feelings are still the same.
Whether it’s friends, family or a partner, make sure that just because you change physically it doesn’t have to mean that your relationship with them will have to change. The people who truly love you will want what’s best for you. Just remember that your weight loss isn’t just about you.
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