Dating with Obesity
Assuming you can get past the difficulty of facing others in social settings due to the stigma and taunts, people often choose not to include you in their social activities since there is a chance that you probably won’t enjoy it anyway. They may believe that you won’t be able to keep up if there is a physical aspect to the outing such as sporting activities or walking around on a shopping trip. This means that people who are at an unhealthy weight often become isolated and lonely. All this adds to feelings of anxiety and depression and can even become life threatening.
People with a higher BMI are statistically more likely to be bullied, have fewer friends and are less likely to get married. Some of this is due to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem but is also due to the way society looks at you. Society has been conditioned both by evolution and the media to view slimmer, fitter and healthier people as more attractive than their larger counterparts. Since most of us are predisposed to prefer a partner with a healthy BMI, matchmaking can become difficult if you are a bigger person. This possibility also varies with age and even the country you live in. For example, if you are a woman aged between 20 and 24 you have a 54% chance of finding a man of healthy weight in the US, 60% in the UK and 100% in India. If you are a man of the same age the percentages are 50 for the US, 59 for the UK and 84 for India. Women of unhealthy weights are statistically less likely to be able to find a sexual partner; a 2014 study found that people will prefer to date a slim person they had nothing in common with than someone who was overweight.
Of course you are never going to find a sexual partner if you stay at home and avoid all social contact so the best thing is to find friends to go out with who will be supportive of you, especially if you become embarrassed.
If the thought of setting off into the dating world puts the fear of god into you the dear old internet can race to the rescue. What did we do before we could access the whole world from a little screen? You can use one of the ‘conventional dating sites’ but here others could make unfounded assumptions about you:
- You are desperate for love/sex/a relationship
- (as a woman) you will be willing to have sex without having a relationship
- You won’t mind if they aren’t completely honest about their age, etc.
- You don’t care about yourself so you won’t mind if they don’t make an effort for your date
- You hate the way you look
- You won’t want to go to a nice restaurant on your date in case people make you feel uncomfortable
Of course, these days there are a number of sites designed for people who prefer to date larger people which will at least ensure that the person you’re meeting will expect someone of your size. When I started typing ‘dating sites for overweight singles’ I got options for over 40s and over 50s as well as loads of options for ‘big’, ‘plus-size’, ‘large’, ‘fat’ and ‘chubby’. I also got an option for dating sites for heavy metal fans but let’s not get into that! The only issue with these sites is that some people can have fetishes about larger bodies and this can be uncomfortable, especially while you are eating. As with all dating sites take reasonable precautions and get to know the person behind the profile; after all you want to meet someone who appreciates you as a person, not as a body type.
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